I grew up in a small town in southeast New Mexico…

I lived with my father, mother, and older sister. Since the state gets approximately 293 sunny days per year, many of my early memories take place outdoors. I was an energetic child, with good intentions. My favorite activities included rollerblading, running, jumping on my trampoline, and playing basketball with the boy next door. At sundown, my mother would yell from the front porch, “Ya metete, vamos a comer!” Which means, ‘Come inside, we’re going to eat!”’ I would come running in (bare feet smacking the tile) to wash up for dinner. It was a much simpler time back then. It’s funny, I am only in my 30s and yet the world has changed so much in a such a short period of time. Have you noticed how few kids play outdoors? Anyway, I was never concerned with the things most youth deal with today. There was no such thing as a school shooting, for us those things simply didn’t exist. While I was not what you would call a ‘free-range’ child, anytime I got to play outside I felt completely free. I am thankful for that.

As the child of immigrants, I was expected to behave in a way that brought honor to my parents, my family, and my culture. My mother did her best to teach us about God and my sister and I attended Christian meetings with her 3 times a week. To my parents, there was nothing more important than getting good grades. Everything I did was in preparation for that, despite the fact that I was not the type of kid whose parents helped her with her homework every night (or her college applications, for that matter). No, I learned very early about adult responsibilities. Since my parents did not speak fluent English (at that time), it fell upon my sister and I to be the household translators. We were good at it. We even took pride in it. In retrospect, it forced us to grow up a little sooner than the other kids. You see, as a child, everything you see and hear leaves an impression. No child should know about their parent’s finances. It’s just not something they should have to worry about. But we read everything: official documents which included notices from their personal bank, mortgage lender, property taxes, the IRS, my father’s life insurance policy, and later even his 401k (yes, really). I can remember doing this as young as 10.

While our life at home was not perfect, I never wanted for anything. In fact, we spent quite a bit of time on the weekends walking and hiking. Although, I didn’t realize this until I had moved away to the big city and found nowhere suitable to hike. When I was a kid, I actually didn’t enjoy it as much as I do now when I visit home. As a kid, I did it begrudgingly because I didn’t want to wake up early and drive an hour JUST to get to the trail. But when we were already walking the trail, I loved breathing in the fresh air and feeling the mountain wind on my face. My favorite time to hike was in the Fall. Even though the town of Carlsbad is part of the Chihuahuan Desert, it is surrounded by higher elevations; which include the Guadalupe Mountains and the Carlsbad Caverns. In the fall, we would hike around Guadalupe Peak (once or twice all the way to the top) and McKittrick Canyon; whose brilliant red, orange, and yellow leaves shone brilliantly. I have vivid memories of driving to Ruidoso, NM to pick apples and cherries from the orchards. At home, we had 16 pecan trees --we lived on a double lot. Sometimes my mother would say, ‘If you pick pecans and shell them, I’ll make you a pecan pie (or cookies).’” This rarely needed repeating, my sister and I were happy to oblige.

mexico

Every year, we went to Mexico during the summertime to visit my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I have always thought it ironic that even though my parents met in their 20s and married in California, they grew up a mere 2 hours away from one another in the Mexican state of Chihuahua. This made vacations to Mexico much easier, as it was easy to split the time between the two families. On my father’s side we visited the old city of Hidalgo del Parral, which boasts some amazing European architecture. At the time, I didn’t know it was European. Or amazing.

By contrast, my mother’s mother lived in a tiny rural village. So rural, in fact, that the local school only went up to the 6th grade. Those who chose or could afford to continue their education, had to take a long bus ride every day to attend school in the neighboring city.

At that time, while it was not uncommon for there to be ‘asaltos’ (hijackings) along the rural roads, we had never encountered one so to me they almost seemed mythical.

I remember on one occasion we had left customs too late in the afternoon and had lost our way. A storm rolled in and when we tried to turn around, our van got stuck in the mud and we were forced to spend the night on an unfamiliar road. It was summer then and my parents told us to crack the windows so we wouldn’t suffocate overnight. In the morning light, we quickly discovered we were covered in mosquito bites! I remember being afraid of the coyotes that called to each other that night. Not once did I think of ‘assaltos.’

In the summer, the wildflowers in the fields next to my grandmother’s house would bloom in every color of the rainbow. My cousin Elsa and I would twist their stems into flower ‘crowns.’ We could spend hours looking for the brightest and prettiest flowers for our crowns. But the realities of rural Mexican life were not so pretty. Seeing my cousins in Mexico always reminded me I was fortunate to lead the life I led. I was fortunate to have indoor plumbing and that my home didn’t have a dirt floor. I was fortunate to be able to attend school just a few blocks away versus in the next town.

The kids in Mexico lived very, very different lives.

They were expected to help their families, learn to farm, and eventually marry one of the local boys and become a mother. This is how it was and how it continued for many families over many generations.

Unless you found a way to break free, like mom. At the age of 14, she moved to the big city and lived with her aunts in order to attend high school. This started her down a path of learning, in Mexico she learned shorthand and took basic business courses. While she did not finish high school here in the states, she eventually obtained her GED. I get my voracious desire to learn from my mother. Even to this day, she calls me to tell me Oprah or Dr. Oz recommended this or that book.

My mother is not one to shrink from a challenge. At one point she even studied and passed the licensing exam for commercial truck driving, or CDL. My father discouraged her from continuing down that path as it was a strenuous and overly male-dominated career choice.

THE AMERICANIZATION OF MY PARENTS

In our house, we always spoke Spanish. I was very little when my mother started asking me to ‘speak to her in English.’ And while translating had certainly worn my patience, it felt completely unnatural to address her in English. Being a bilingual, Hispanic kid has always felt like having a double cultural identity. There is ‘American you’ and ‘Hispanic you.’ The American me had American friends, listened to American music, and watched Audrey Hepburn movies on AMC. The Hispanic me spoke fluent Spanish, belted out ballads by Rocio Durcal, and watched ‘Cantinflas’ comedies with dad on Television. It’s part of the charm of being me. Being your own authentic version is all that matters. It took me a long time to realize this.

As time went on, my parents inevitably learned to speak English. For several years, my parents attended night school. While both their accents are heavy, I would definitely say they’re fluent. I will never forget the first time I heard my mother use the expression, ‘messed up.’ It was then that I realized being an immigrant and spending most of your life living in a foreign country is similar to the kind of identity crisis I myself have faced. Last week, my father revealed to me that it was the 40th anniversary of the day he came to this country. At 64 years of age, he has now lived in the United States LONGER than he ever lived in Mexico! I’ve asked my parents on separate occasions if they would ever go back, the answer is always no.

While they are not wealthy people by any means, my parents have long understood that working hard for your wages here and doing so in Mexico means two very different things. In the United States, they have been afforded opportunities that many of their own relatives were not afforded in Mexico. They have long stressed the importance of hard work and being a good, peaceable citizen. Not having good grades, acting up in school, and any other nonsense was simply not tolerated.

The discipline I found so restrictive back then, I am strangely thankful for today.

LA VIE ON ROSE

As if having a double cultural identity was not enough, I felt a connection to French language and culture for most of my adult life. (As a teenager, my mother decided the family would take a family trip to Florida and the Bahamas. It was my first time on an airplane, and I loved every bit of it! I was hooked to travelling immediately.) Fast forward to my junior year in High School in 2003. Since I was already fluent in Spanish and was required to take a language course, I chose French. That year, our class organized a 10-day trip to multiple cities in France. I saw this as the opportunity of a lifetime. To my delight, my parents agreed to pay for my passage. The agreement was that I would not ask for a graduation gift the following year in exchange for the French trip. I agreed immediately.

This was the farthest I had ever travelled from home and I was ecstatic. While 30 high school students flying across the pond would not raise eyebrows now, this trip was scheduled a mere 2 years after the terrorist attacks on the twin towers in New York City. Even two years later, many people (and parents) were still afraid to fly and feared a repeat attack.

Despite an attempt by some parents to quash the trip, the school board did not forbid us from going. I remember having a very adult conversation with my parents about risk assessment and the likelihood of danger. They left it up to me.

And so it went that this 16 year-old girl made her choice and flew to France with her classmates.

France was like nothing I had ever seen. I fell in love with Paris immediately. The outdoor markets, the architecture, the museums, the people, all of it. Despite my fear of heights, I ascended the Eiffel Tower by standing in the center of its glass elevator. I was not going to be stopped from wringing out every ounce of culture from this trip. We travelled through villages and cities, each one more enchanting than the next. I took it all in and was sad to go home when the trip was over. I didn’t know how but that trip changed me. Suddenly I saw there was so much out there than the small town where I had been born. To quote the infamous Ernest Hemingway:

If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young [woman], then wherever you go for the rest of your life it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast. - Ernest Hemingway

THE COLLEGE YEARS

When I turned 18, I could not WAIT to leave the house. I was ready to fly the coop and go to college. For me, this meant moving to a town that was three hours away and full of strangers. I’ll never forget the day my family moved me into the college dorms. I had anticipated this day from the moment I had gotten my acceptance letter and that day had finally arrived. While I did not know my roommate, we had exchanged emails and I was optimistic I had found a friend. On move in day, my parents and sister drove my belongings and I into Lubbock. Texas Tech University was abuzz with freshmen hauling their colorful belongings into their respective dormitories. This was my very first time away from home and from anything familiar. All of my High School friends (with a few exceptions) were scattered across other towns and Universities. And although I knew I would miss them immensely, I was ready. I needed a change of pace and a change of scenery. When we had completed the move, my parents stood around and looked at me sadly. It was then that I realized how much I was going to miss them.

Wiping away tears, it took every ounce of courage in me not to run after them and insist they take me home. After one last goodbye, my parents and sister made their way down the hall and slowly disappeared around the corner. And just like that, I was on my own.

The college experience is different for every young person. For me, it was a time of hard work and tight schedules. And even though I had my fair share of fun times with friends, I was expected to work part-time. Many a night I would come back to my dorm around 11pm from my waitressing job; smelling like fried food only to have homework waiting for me. I would look over and my roommate would be asleep. Unlike me, she had worked out, bathed, and completed all of her homework.

In retrospect, I have learned that the things worth having take long hours and hard work to obtain.

moving to dallas

4 years passed and I would love to be able to tell you the bright-eyed graduate proceeded to live happily ever after. But this is not a fairytale and things certainly don’t always turn out as we expect. After graduation in 2008, my fellow classmates and I found ourselves in the depths of an economic recession and many struggled to find employment. While I had a job, it was not the job I had hoped for after graduation. I found myself restless and desperate for a change; I wanted to attend business school, but not in Lubbock.

After weighing my options for graduate school, I began to apply for jobs and look at graduate programs in Dallas. It was then that an opportunity presented itself to work for the Internal Revenue Service. And even though the recession was raging in the private sector, the government was still hiring. My current job with the Transportation Security Administration helped me to qualify as an internal candidate and for three years I worked at the IRS. My parents were proud to tell our friends and relatives that I was working there. To them, there was no greater job security and no better job. Needless to say, we did not share the same opinion.

While I do believe every experience is an opportunity to learn and grow, my job at the IRS showed me I was not cut out for government work. Since it is such a large organization, it was very difficult for things to get done quickly. For things to be optimized and updated, it took time. And since I was in my twenties, I wanted to be somewhere that appreciated employee feedback for improvement and efficiency.

My parents were heartbroken when I told them I was quitting my job to start graduate school. While they did want me to go to business school, they didn’t want it to be at the expense of my government job. I had to make a choice and my time there had run its course. On the day I left, I ran into my first manager and he asked me to reconsider. He insisted if I waited a bit longer, I could ‘make Revenue Agent.’ I told him it wasn’t where I wanted to be anymore; he was disappointed, but he wished me well.

The day I quit was 10 days before my wedding; which ushered in a new phase in my life.

As a newlywed and a graduate student, I was constantly trying to divide my time across all my responsibilities. Unless you’ve done it before, no one realizes the sheer amount of work and focus involved in graduate school. You’re expected to read mountains of books then write even larger mountains of papers. While I had not been the best student in Undergrad, I certainly wasn’t the worst. But no one prepared me for this. Nonetheless I pushed through and graduated one semester early. By this time two years had gone by and we were moving to Plano to be closer to his office. With a shiny, new MBA I set out to find work. And unexpectedly, found nothing. Not ONE position that was willing to hire a trilingual MBA living in Plano, TX. Month after month I searched for work and barely went on 3 interviews (I wasn’t interested in mortgage lending) I couldn’t figure it out! What had gone wrong?!

Parents spend so much time telling their children to ‘make good grades and go to college.’” All of a sudden, I found myself the brunt of a sick joke. I had spent YEARS in school only to find the door to opportunity (any opportunity) sealed shut. Maybe I was applying to the wrong places? Maybe I was not describing my qualifications correctly? Maybe the jobs I was applying for required someone with more experience? The reason didn’t matter.

What did matter is that I absorbed and internalized every rejection. I took it as a reflection of me, as a person, and fell into a deep depression.

After many months of searching for entry level corporate positions, I gave up and took a position in customer service. After a few months, my husband and I decided it was best to move on. I had no idea what was right around the corner.

During this time, my husband and I were in the process of building a home. Since I wasn’t working, I busied myself with all there is to do with a new build. In retrospect, I am happy I had the time to take care of what needed to be done; because it was a lot!

One day, our landscaper asked me if I could help him build a website for his business; in exchange for a discount on our landscaping bill. To this day I am not sure why he asked me or why I said yes. I told my husband about it and asked, “do you think I could do this?” He said, “I think you can do whatever you put your mind to do.” I got to work researching website platforms.

Note: I have NEVER considered myself technical or creative. What I was undertaking was completely foreign, but the thrill of the challenge propelled me forward. I made it my mission to build him the best website he could hope for; I even invested the time and effort to take original photographs of his projects and stone yard. When several weeks had passed, I drove to their office to show them the finished website in person. He sat there and scrolled through the home page, his mouth dropped, and he whispered, ‘Oh…wow!’ That was it. I was hooked. The feeling I got from creating something beautiful was like nothing I had ever experienced. All of a sudden it was as though every closed door, rejection, dismissal, and reroute had brought me to this exact moment. This was the beginning of my web design business.

For one year, I built websites for several small businesses. And while I still enjoy building websites, the particulars of doing custom work is what eventually moved me away from that type of business. My time spent with small business owners is where I learned about their need to compete in an ever-changing and ever-competitive market. This is where I first came up with the idea for ELLA Inspires Magazine. At first, it was supposed to be a tool I could offer to my website clients in order to give them leverage in their field.

NEVER did I imagine it would turn into an independent publication with its own online presence.

I can still remember talking to my sister on the phone, ‘I want to create a magazine for my clients to help show them how important photography is.’ I continued, ‘and I want it to be for women who market themselves to other women, what should I call it?”’ We went through a few possible choices, landing on BELLA then eventually just ‘ELLA,’ which means ‘her’ in Spanish. It was perfect!

At this point, I still believed this would be a tool I would use in marketing and branding. I had NO idea it would turn into a full-time career! Everyone I talked to had something to say about it. I got private messages from complete strangers on Instagram; praising the magazine and expressing how much they enjoyed keeping up with the brand on social media. They had so many questions! There was so much ‘to do’ about ELLA.

Becoming A Startup

Telling my mother I was going into business for myself was not easy. My father and she are very firm in their belief that college is the route for all young people. While that is still the case for many professions, it is not true for all. If I would have known the type of work I would wind up doing, I would have attended a technical college and studied art and technology. I have applied a little of my business knowledge to my startup, sure, but there are many professionals out there that are dedicated to helping small businesses grow (i.e., accounting, finance or marketing).

‘Mom, I am starting a new business.’ You could hear a pin drop. She said nothing. I went onto describe some of what I wanted to do, still she said nothing.

Then she responded, ‘But how much money are you going to make?’ I get it, she’s my mom and she’s supposed to care if I could end up living under a bridge. But I don’t think she realized at that moment (and frankly, neither did I) that she raised me to take control of my life and have the courage to change what I don’t like. No job I had ever taken had ever made me happy to do it. I wanted to be like my dad, who got up every day excited to go to work. I spoke to him recently and said, ‘Dad? Remember how you told me how much you always loved going to work every day? I had never felt that until now.’ He looked at me knowingly. I have had his full support ever since.

As a child, I never realized my mother was an entrepreneur. I have many memories of visiting customers with my mother. She sold vitamins, beauty products, and even real jewelry at various points during my childhood. It was because she was an entrepreneur that I never knew what it was like to be a ‘latchkey’ kid. Direct sales allowed her the flexibility to manage her household and choose her own hours. My mother did this type of work for years.

Now, as an entrepreneur, it feels like what I observed from her growing up came back full circle. Even though she pushed me hard to get good grades and finish college (twice), the key to my happiness was actually very similar to hers: form your own business, call the shots, and work when its best for YOU. In fact, my father was a small business owner too! He worked his 8-5 job then came home and worked another 4 hours in his workshop.

ella inspires magazine

When I started this magazine, I didn’t realize I would relate so much to the stories the women were telling in the magazine. They all spoke of trials they had faced and the courage it took to course-correct their lives. One woman even talked about a very personal trial she had faced when conceiving her baby; she used the magazine feature to reveal to many of her family members that she had conceived through IVF. Story after story, woman after woman, the underlying theme was the same: 'This is what I did to improve my life and now I want to help others do the same.' Mentorship is a huge part of what makes ELLA Inspires unique.

I, too, take my mentorship role very seriously (you may have seen Abby at our photo shoots!) It is important to me that young girls see that they don’t have to slave away doing work they don’t enjoy ‘just to make money.’

In a world where social media influencers are millionaires and reality tv stars are billionaires, people and women are creating real legacies for their families in unexpected ways.

I’m not saying you have to work until you’re a millionaire, quite the opposite. I’m saying you have the power to choose what type of work you’re going to do and how much time you want to devote to your career.

Mothers have started blogs on social media that provide more than enough for their families. Husbands have quit their jobs after their wives’ direct marketing business has skyrocketed.

The only real setback from being self-employed and not going into the office every day is the lack of community. Being self-employed can be a lonely business and starting ELLA Inspires Magazine created a sense of community for those who relate to the women featured. It is so important to be able to have a place to find other women who are going (or have gone) through similar trials. To hear how they succeeded despite the pain of getting through it. These online (and local) communities are often found on social media and they are a growing trend among entrepreneurs. I want ELLA Inspires Magazine to be a place where women can learn how to manage their business better (through training and workshops) as well as read all about various types of inspiring women. I didn’t want to limit our content to just entrepreneurs: professional women are included too! Many of the women featured with a corporate background spoke of their own challenges working long hours, balancing home life with career, and being under-appreciated and overlooked for promotions. They, too, have much to say on what it takes to lead others. For some, success came over time and after some type of struggle to get noticed (especially in male-dominated industries.)

The Experience

ELLA Inspires is so much more than a magazine. We go the extra mile to create something that compliments the women and the stories being told in the magazine. My team and I will do a 3-hour photo shoot with each featured model that includes wardrobe, hairstyling, and makeup. We play music and drink champagne at the photoshoot to ‘cELLAbrate’ (borrowed from a former covergirl) her professional and personal success. After the issue is published, we spend 15-days promoting it on social media! This is free publicity and content as the model only has to re-share what is posted on her own social media accounts. We create digital and print options geared toward helping each woman showcase her value and grow her social reach. Many have described being featured in the magazine as an ‘experience’ and in order to keep the quality of the publication high, there is an application process.

THE ELLA COMMUNITY

As I started to meet with local women in business, I discovered many of them were looking for ways to be more competitive and market their business online. This has led me to focus a lot of time honing my social media following.  I would like to continue cultivating relationships and eventually create an education-based community to help other entrepreneurs build stronger businesses using the tools and knowledge I use for my own business.

From the beginning, many women trusted my vision. They are still part of my team and I call them my “beauty squad.” I approached them one by one and explained what I was hoping to create.

I gave them zero guarantees but promised to make them part of the process. They started telling their networks about the magazine and the work they contributed.

They spoke about how excited they were to be a part of it. When I added two columnists, the same happened. They started to share their love for the magazine and worked very hard to get their articles in before their deadlines. They have created high quality content and supported the magazine and I in everything. One of my columnists has even stepped into an additional role as ELLA Community Manager. I love it when one of them says ‘our magazine.’ Their great attitudes, talent, and enthusiasm for what we’re doing helped create our very own internal ELLA community; which has led ELLA to big things in a short amount of time.

Perhaps the most memorable of those is when I discovered a noted graphic designer and fellow Latina was following my Instagram account. I must confess, it was my friend and columnist Wendie who pointed it out to me. I don’t know what convinced me to reach out to her, but I talked myself in and out of doing it FOUR times! Finally, I swallowed my fear and just sent her a message on Instagram. I was extremely formal and sent a long message that was probably more appropriate for email. Almost immediately I got a response:

At that moment I knew I must be doing something right. For someone who has struggled with confidence issues, it was just the boost I needed to KEEP GOING. The magazine had gotten the attention of someone with design experience, someone who had worked in the corporate world, and someone who had been awarded for her own work (Hint: You probably use something she designed every day).

ELLA: 2020 AND BEYOND

As we turn the page on the first year of ELLA, it is truly amazing to see how much this magazine and its mission has resonated with so many. It is our goal to provide additional ways to collaborate with the brand through the upcoming addition of advertising opportunities in the printed magazine.

This is just one more way we plan to help women find and support other female-owned businesses and products. Last but not least, this year marks the first annual ELLA of the Year Awards Ceremony; a yearly award created to celebrate the featured cover girl with the most inspirational story. It is our hope that ELLA Inspires reaches professional women and entrepreneurs across many demographics.

In 2020 we will continue to serve and build up a community of strong women through educational workshops, networking events, and print subscriptions. Stay tuned! We’re only getting started.